David Suzuki is stalking me

David Suzuki is stalking me.  Don’t believe it?  Read on and make up your own mind…

Instead of just puking up all the details on the blog here, I’ll give you a specific time-line of events to illustrate my case:

Thursday June 11th:

8:14 am – I purchase David Suzuki’s book “The Green Guide” on the ferry.  I read the first 2 chapters or so…it blows my mind with amazing and disturbing facts.  Example:  one-third of the crops grown to feed north Americans are pollinated by honeybees.  Everything from apples, to almonds and soybeans.  Between 1971 and 2006, there has been a 50% decline in honeybee colonies.  Something called “Colony Collapse Disorder” is causing additional losses of 30% to 70%.  Albert Einstein said:  “If the bee disappears from the surface of the earth, no man would have more than four years to live.  No bees, no pollination, no more plants, no more animals, no more man” Scary stuff.

12:34 pm – I arrive in Grande Prairie, Alberta.  Sitting in my buddy John’s garage over a Sleeman’s Honey Brown, we talk about the book.  We also talk about hockey, and how awesome boobs are  (we’re in a garage, cut me a break).  No big deal right?  Keep reading.

1:13 am – I go to bed.  As far as I can tell, nobody is slinking around the house monitoring me every move. Was I wrong?  Keep reading.

***FAST FORWARD 82 HOURS***

Monday June 15th

10:16 am – While on popular social networking “twitter” I post the following message:

David Suzuki’s “Green Guide” is changing my life. I ate actually a vegetarian lunch yesterday. Scary, but not as scary as climate change.

I check under my desk…nobody there stalking me.
Tuesday, June 16th

8:06 am – I get an email notifying me that the “David Suzuki Foundation”  is following me on Twitter.  (David Suzuki FND)  Curious.

I guess I’m a little mad, because last week I was twittering about the new Transformers movie.  I mentioned that the only reason I was going to see it was because Megan Fox is super-hot.

megan_fox-2304

Megan Fox is not stalking me.  But this guy is…the world is a cruel place.

TV-SUZUKI-NUDE

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3 responses to “David Suzuki is stalking me

  1. Stalker you say? I’ll kick his ass.

  2. morningaftershow

    whoa, Dave, you talked about boobs at 12:34… 1,2,3,4… that means something.

  3. he’s stalking me too.
    damn twitter…

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